New Mom Need Coffee

If I thought I was organized enough to keep one book full of information I might be learning the hard way, a day late and a dollar short kind of thing, I would. I would write down every nugget of information for my boys to learn from. Learn from MY mistakes rather than your own. Do I honestly think they will read it and believe it? Maybe when they're 30. Certainly not when they need to read it and learn more about the world, like age 10. I wish I had known so much more before leaving High School. I got dumped into this world naïve and ignorant and just a tad too "happy go lucky" for my own good. I thought all people were like me, happy, nice and trustworthy. I went to school in a bubble and left trying to believe everyone I met was good and honest. There are also so many financial mistakes I've made and a lot of career mistakes, mind you I wouldn't change a thing. I love where I'm at and how I got here, it makes me exactly who I am. I just wish I had known a

I'm sitting here during nap time trying to do a million different things. I have this small window of time to myself that i'm torn between getting house work done and having some quiet time. There's so much to do in a day that most days i wish there was a few more hours, or rather I had more energy to stay up later and get stuff done! So here I am with what I expect to be an hour at the most and i'm frazzled because I have so much to do and so little time. As you can tell I've decided to sit down and write a blog post and just get the thoughts I have in my head out. Empty my brain and stop thinking about all the things that need to be done and just enjoy the fact that both kids are napping and my husband just surprised me by coming home early and going to get us some lunch. What is life right now? It's a constant stage of change and chaos. It's these little moments during nap time that I sometimes get to process these chaotic moments and recharge. Thanks k

I've gotten into the habit of getting up 1 hour before my husband and *fingers crossed* two hours before the kids. I'm a morning person and crave that time to sit and think and drink my coffee. I can see out of the kitchen window, where I sit to write my post, the sun is just about to come up. I'm so tired, Grant nursed a lot through the night last night, which he's been doing more frequently, but I feel good that I'm up and getting ready for the day. Motherhood has changed since Easter. Easter day Grant started to crawl forward, I say that because for weeks he would crawl or slide backward but showed no signs of going forward until Easter. He loves to explore and doesn't need to sit in my lap all day. Not that I've gotten anything done, I just love to sit and watch him and Tucker interact. Its bittersweet, my arms feel free, but I'm starting to think I"m more attached than my kids. I miss him sitting in my arms and looking at me most of the day.

Somedays I wake up and feel, for lack of a better word, blah. I feel sluggish and even mad sometimes. Mad because I wanted to stay up the night before and I ended up falling asleep again. Then you wake up with allergies and you feel even worse, then you remember your little one has a pediatrician appointment for a shot, you think to yourself-it's going to be a long day. Your coffee does not taste as good as it did yesterday, your head is clogged and all you're trying to do is start your day off right, that's why you got up two hours before the kids. So sometimes when I have these days I try to fake it until I make it. My issue is the small things, things that instantly put me in a bad mood, for instance because I didn't stay up last night the kitchen is not clean, and when my kitchen/house isn't clean my mind seems to scramble and it stresses me out a little. I try to understand this is a mild issue and forget about it, but I know I'll be scrambling all day t

I think a lot about self help. I like to read self help books (when I have time) and I like to know what motivates people and how I can always better myself. Even if I don't use the information I find it really interesting. I was thinking about how sometimes I use food when I'm upset and eat chocolate or sweets to make myself feel better. Emotional Eating People. Even when I know I'm doing it, I keep on and eat until my belly is full and my stressed out mind is empty. I do not know why they coincide but they do. Full belly= distracted mind. I was thinking of strategies I could come up with to help break this bad habit. I'm not even certain this habit can be broken, I'm realistic and know myself pretty well, which means I know I could never fully break this habit I could only change the type of food I eat or the amount. But the point of my thought process came to this: Respect. I need to respect myself enough to make good choices, choices that make me feel good

I had made a new years resolution that I felt very grown up about. It was to not fill the silence and listen more than I speak. I've failed. I've always thought it was polite to fill the silence when no one is talking. That leads to me having vomit of the mouth and making conversation about absolute nonsense. Which makes me end up sounding like an idiot. So this year I resigned to try to listen more. I have done a little better, trying to keep this resolution but it takes a lot of conscious effort to stop talking and just listen. It is certainly a habit I will have to get used to but I don't want to stop trying, there are so many things that happen when you stop and listen. You learn new things, you have a chance to have a clear mind and just think rather than always thinking about something to say. I watched a TED talk about how to have a good conversation and realized all this time I don't have good conversations, mostly because while the other person is tal

I wanted to start a new update on the blog called: Motherhood right now. It will be an update on parenting and what it looks like with my two little ones at the particular age and season of life we are all in. So lets getting started by saying Tuck is practically 21 months and Grant is practically 8 months old. At the moment motherhood could be easier. I have two mama's boys and tend to choose their mom over anyone else. Which could not be more sweet. For instance after teaching my workout class last night I got home and my littlest calmed right down and was happy and my oldest sat in my lap and gave me 100 kisses. On the other hand Grant cried for 45 minutes while I was gone, which breaks my heart and bothers me to know he misses me so much when I'm at work, but I also know its good for him to be with his grandparents and it's good for me to work. I would love to be with my boys 24/7 but I have to work and work is good for me, it keeps my mind busy and I get to be s

I have taught 4 classes so far, technically 3.5 since I had a sinus infection Tuesday and only taught my 5 pm class. So, how is it going? It's going great. Teaching an exercise class feels natural to me. It's not stressful (Like you think it would be) it's energetic, it's fun and all the while listening to good music with a group of girls that are all motivating in their own way. I like to meet new people which is something this exercise class also helps me do. Although we still don't have ten people in each class making the monthly commitment, there are a good amount of girls showing up and making the nightly commitment which is okay for now, I hope I will win them over with my upbeat workout and good atmosphere. I wasn't sure how I would feel about a HIIT workout but I actually prefer it, it's more upbeat but also it's a bit shorter in time and easier to teach. Next week I plan on helping these girls with their techniques on the moves I taught last

I was having a conversation with my mom yesterday about eating and self control. I can't tell you how many times I have racked my brain for motivation and simple logic on how to better control myself around food. I feel like if you have self control you don't have to be on a diet all you need to do is eat what you want just don't eat so much of it and you've got the whole being healthy thing figured out. Of course it wouldn't hurt to add some good in, that has to be said. BUT I can't seem to figure out how to control my eating when it comes to sitting down and eating supper, I overeat every sinlge time. I have two kids so sitting down to eat isn't as interesting as it used to be. When I would cook meals before I would typically slave for about an hour and by the time I sat down I would eat a small amount then be too tired to eat anymore. Weird I know. Funny thing is when you spend the time cooking a meal eating it is not as interesting as eating something

The thing that's impacted my sanity the most since having little ones is the fact that i don't make time to workout anymore. For me it all goes down hill from there. When I don't work out a lot of other things start to happen, for instance; my Pepsi habit. I can get so addicted to something, especially if it has addicting qualities in it like Caffeine, or Chocolate. I've also started eating ramen noodles again. I mean really thats the worst for me, bottom of the bottle so they say. I don't know this body i have right now. It jiggles and gets tired easy, and most of all it's slow. That's not me. Since I have this new body I feel like i've lost myself. When you don't feel good about yourself your whole attitude and demeanor change, you feel gross. I don't want to lose myself, I like myself, I want it back. In reality I don't think it will be too hard, especially since i'm starting my workout classes soon, in 2 days actually. I feel grossly

I was told once that balancing your diet is like balancing your checkbook. When you look at how much money you have and how much you are spending it all has to balance out so you don't go in the negative. You can use the same principles to balance out your diet. For example if I eat a healthy breakfast and lunch I can afford a bit of a heavier dinner, just like if you save for a few weeks you can afford the big item you have been saving for. So that's what I do, I try to stay on track with my breakfast and my lunch because I typically eat a bigger dinner, and I always always have dessert. Lately I've been pretty bad at this. It used to be easy, I didn't have to think about it, I made it a habit and I liked healthy food. Today my life is much more complicated and in fast forward so I don't even know what all I'm eating through out the day, I snack a lot and I eat way too many sweets. I'm not drinking enough water either. So lets take it back to the bas