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Motherhood Right Now

I've gotten into the habit of getting up 1 hour before my husband and *fingers crossed* two hours before the kids. I'm a morning person and crave that time to sit and think and drink my coffee. I can see out of the kitchen window, where I sit to write my post, the sun is just about to come up. I'm so tired, Grant nursed a lot through the night last night, which he's been doing more frequently, but I feel good that I'm up and getting ready for the day. Motherhood has changed since Easter. Easter day Grant started to crawl forward, I say that because for weeks he would crawl or slide backward but showed no signs of going forward until Easter. He loves to explore and doesn't need to sit in my lap all day. Not that I've gotten anything done, I just love to sit and watch him and Tucker interact. Its bittersweet, my arms feel free, but I'm starting to think I"m more attached than my kids. I miss him sitting in my arms and looking at me most of the day. He still nurses during the day but not much, which reminds me he needs juice put in a sip since he isn't getting fluids from nursing. Tucker has started to put sentences together and can communicate with everyone much easier. He has also added the word "momma" to his sentence whenever he says something to me and it melts my heart. He'll say "eat momma" when he's hungry, "get me momma" when he wants me to hold him, and "seat momma" when he wants to sit and play with my hair. He's a sweet kid, he doesn't have a fighter spirit, a kid at the park was pushing him down and instead of pushing him back he laughed and kept playing. Oh to have the spirit of a 21 month old. He hugs on his brother and gives him kisses on the head. Those times when I see him do that are the times I know I must be doing something right. Once I get the kids on a schedule for bedtime I think they'll sleep a lot better. You may think "what's stopping you from making a schedule right now?" well....I'm a morning person, not so much an evening person. Also we visit family in the evening and by the time we get home I'm exhausted and can barely function, especially on work days. (I firmly believe I need to drink more water and I'll have more energy) Family is awake, time to go. Until next time.
-B

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