New Mom Need Coffee

I'm sitting here during nap time trying to do a million different things. I have this small window of time to myself that i'm torn between getting house work done and having some quiet time. There's so much to do in a day that most days i wish there was a few more hours, or rather I had more energy to stay up later and get stuff done! So here I am with what I expect to be an hour at the most and i'm frazzled because I have so much to do and so little time. As you can tell I've decided to sit down and write a blog post and just get the thoughts I have in my head out. Empty my brain and stop thinking about all the things that need to be done and just enjoy the fact that both kids are napping and my husband just surprised me by coming home early and going to get us some lunch. What is life right now? It's a constant stage of change and chaos. It's these little moments during nap time that I sometimes get to process these chaotic moments and recharge. Thanks k

I've gotten into the habit of getting up 1 hour before my husband and *fingers crossed* two hours before the kids. I'm a morning person and crave that time to sit and think and drink my coffee. I can see out of the kitchen window, where I sit to write my post, the sun is just about to come up. I'm so tired, Grant nursed a lot through the night last night, which he's been doing more frequently, but I feel good that I'm up and getting ready for the day. Motherhood has changed since Easter. Easter day Grant started to crawl forward, I say that because for weeks he would crawl or slide backward but showed no signs of going forward until Easter. He loves to explore and doesn't need to sit in my lap all day. Not that I've gotten anything done, I just love to sit and watch him and Tucker interact. Its bittersweet, my arms feel free, but I'm starting to think I"m more attached than my kids. I miss him sitting in my arms and looking at me most of the day.

Somedays I wake up and feel, for lack of a better word, blah. I feel sluggish and even mad sometimes. Mad because I wanted to stay up the night before and I ended up falling asleep again. Then you wake up with allergies and you feel even worse, then you remember your little one has a pediatrician appointment for a shot, you think to yourself-it's going to be a long day. Your coffee does not taste as good as it did yesterday, your head is clogged and all you're trying to do is start your day off right, that's why you got up two hours before the kids. So sometimes when I have these days I try to fake it until I make it. My issue is the small things, things that instantly put me in a bad mood, for instance because I didn't stay up last night the kitchen is not clean, and when my kitchen/house isn't clean my mind seems to scramble and it stresses me out a little. I try to understand this is a mild issue and forget about it, but I know I'll be scrambling all day t

I think a lot about self help. I like to read self help books (when I have time) and I like to know what motivates people and how I can always better myself. Even if I don't use the information I find it really interesting. I was thinking about how sometimes I use food when I'm upset and eat chocolate or sweets to make myself feel better. Emotional Eating People. Even when I know I'm doing it, I keep on and eat until my belly is full and my stressed out mind is empty. I do not know why they coincide but they do. Full belly= distracted mind. I was thinking of strategies I could come up with to help break this bad habit. I'm not even certain this habit can be broken, I'm realistic and know myself pretty well, which means I know I could never fully break this habit I could only change the type of food I eat or the amount. But the point of my thought process came to this: Respect. I need to respect myself enough to make good choices, choices that make me feel good

I had made a new years resolution that I felt very grown up about. It was to not fill the silence and listen more than I speak. I've failed. I've always thought it was polite to fill the silence when no one is talking. That leads to me having vomit of the mouth and making conversation about absolute nonsense. Which makes me end up sounding like an idiot. So this year I resigned to try to listen more. I have done a little better, trying to keep this resolution but it takes a lot of conscious effort to stop talking and just listen. It is certainly a habit I will have to get used to but I don't want to stop trying, there are so many things that happen when you stop and listen. You learn new things, you have a chance to have a clear mind and just think rather than always thinking about something to say. I watched a TED talk about how to have a good conversation and realized all this time I don't have good conversations, mostly because while the other person is tal

I wanted to start a new update on the blog called: Motherhood right now. It will be an update on parenting and what it looks like with my two little ones at the particular age and season of life we are all in. So lets getting started by saying Tuck is practically 21 months and Grant is practically 8 months old. At the moment motherhood could be easier. I have two mama's boys and tend to choose their mom over anyone else. Which could not be more sweet. For instance after teaching my workout class last night I got home and my littlest calmed right down and was happy and my oldest sat in my lap and gave me 100 kisses. On the other hand Grant cried for 45 minutes while I was gone, which breaks my heart and bothers me to know he misses me so much when I'm at work, but I also know its good for him to be with his grandparents and it's good for me to work. I would love to be with my boys 24/7 but I have to work and work is good for me, it keeps my mind busy and I get to be s