New Mom Need Coffee

If I thought I was organized enough to keep one book full of information I might be learning the hard way, a day late and a dollar short kind of thing, I would. I would write down every nugget of information for my boys to learn from. Learn from MY mistakes rather than your own. Do I honestly think they will read it and believe it? Maybe when they're 30. Certainly not when they need to read it and learn more about the world, like age 10. I wish I had known so much more before leaving High School. I got dumped into this world naïve and ignorant and just a tad too "happy go lucky" for my own good. I thought all people were like me, happy, nice and trustworthy. I went to school in a bubble and left trying to believe everyone I met was good and honest. There are also so many financial mistakes I've made and a lot of career mistakes, mind you I wouldn't change a thing. I love where I'm at and how I got here, it makes me exactly who I am. I just wish I had known a ...

I'm sitting here during nap time trying to do a million different things. I have this small window of time to myself that i'm torn between getting house work done and having some quiet time. There's so much to do in a day that most days i wish there was a few more hours, or rather I had more energy to stay up later and get stuff done! So here I am with what I expect to be an hour at the most and i'm frazzled because I have so much to do and so little time. As you can tell I've decided to sit down and write a blog post and just get the thoughts I have in my head out. Empty my brain and stop thinking about all the things that need to be done and just enjoy the fact that both kids are napping and my husband just surprised me by coming home early and going to get us some lunch. What is life right now? It's a constant stage of change and chaos. It's these little moments during nap time that I sometimes get to process these chaotic moments and recharge. Thanks k...

I've gotten into the habit of getting up 1 hour before my husband and *fingers crossed* two hours before the kids. I'm a morning person and crave that time to sit and think and drink my coffee. I can see out of the kitchen window, where I sit to write my post, the sun is just about to come up. I'm so tired, Grant nursed a lot through the night last night, which he's been doing more frequently, but I feel good that I'm up and getting ready for the day. Motherhood has changed since Easter. Easter day Grant started to crawl forward, I say that because for weeks he would crawl or slide backward but showed no signs of going forward until Easter. He loves to explore and doesn't need to sit in my lap all day. Not that I've gotten anything done, I just love to sit and watch him and Tucker interact. Its bittersweet, my arms feel free, but I'm starting to think I"m more attached than my kids. I miss him sitting in my arms and looking at me most of the day....

Somedays I wake up and feel, for lack of a better word, blah. I feel sluggish and even mad sometimes. Mad because I wanted to stay up the night before and I ended up falling asleep again. Then you wake up with allergies and you feel even worse, then you remember your little one has a pediatrician appointment for a shot, you think to yourself-it's going to be a long day. Your coffee does not taste as good as it did yesterday, your head is clogged and all you're trying to do is start your day off right, that's why you got up two hours before the kids. So sometimes when I have these days I try to fake it until I make it. My issue is the small things, things that instantly put me in a bad mood, for instance because I didn't stay up last night the kitchen is not clean, and when my kitchen/house isn't clean my mind seems to scramble and it stresses me out a little. I try to understand this is a mild issue and forget about it, but I know I'll be scrambling all day t...

I think a lot about self help. I like to read self help books (when I have time) and I like to know what motivates people and how I can always better myself. Even if I don't use the information I find it really interesting. I was thinking about how sometimes I use food when I'm upset and eat chocolate or sweets to make myself feel better. Emotional Eating People. Even when I know I'm doing it, I keep on and eat until my belly is full and my stressed out mind is empty. I do not know why they coincide but they do. Full belly= distracted mind. I was thinking of strategies I could come up with to help break this bad habit. I'm not even certain this habit can be broken, I'm realistic and know myself pretty well, which means I know I could never fully break this habit I could only change the type of food I eat or the amount. But the point of my thought process came to this: Respect. I need to respect myself enough to make good choices, choices that make me feel good ...

I had made a new years resolution that I felt very grown up about. It was to not fill the silence and listen more than I speak. I've failed. I've always thought it was polite to fill the silence when no one is talking. That leads to me having vomit of the mouth and making conversation about absolute nonsense. Which makes me end up sounding like an idiot. So this year I resigned to try to listen more. I have done a little better, trying to keep this resolution but it takes a lot of conscious effort to stop talking and just listen. It is certainly a habit I will have to get used to but I don't want to stop trying, there are so many things that happen when you stop and listen. You learn new things, you have a chance to have a clear mind and just think rather than always thinking about something to say. I watched a TED talk about how to have a good conversation and realized all this time I don't have good conversations, mostly because while the other person is tal...

I wanted to start a new update on the blog called: Motherhood right now. It will be an update on parenting and what it looks like with my two little ones at the particular age and season of life we are all in. So lets getting started by saying Tuck is practically 21 months and Grant is practically 8 months old. At the moment motherhood could be easier. I have two mama's boys and tend to choose their mom over anyone else. Which could not be more sweet. For instance after teaching my workout class last night I got home and my littlest calmed right down and was happy and my oldest sat in my lap and gave me 100 kisses. On the other hand Grant cried for 45 minutes while I was gone, which breaks my heart and bothers me to know he misses me so much when I'm at work, but I also know its good for him to be with his grandparents and it's good for me to work. I would love to be with my boys 24/7 but I have to work and work is good for me, it keeps my mind busy and I get to be s...

I have taught 4 classes so far, technically 3.5 since I had a sinus infection Tuesday and only taught my 5 pm class. So, how is it going? It's going great. Teaching an exercise class feels natural to me. It's not stressful (Like you think it would be) it's energetic, it's fun and all the while listening to good music with a group of girls that are all motivating in their own way. I like to meet new people which is something this exercise class also helps me do. Although we still don't have ten people in each class making the monthly commitment, there are a good amount of girls showing up and making the nightly commitment which is okay for now, I hope I will win them over with my upbeat workout and good atmosphere. I wasn't sure how I would feel about a HIIT workout but I actually prefer it, it's more upbeat but also it's a bit shorter in time and easier to teach. Next week I plan on helping these girls with their techniques on the moves I taught last...

I was having a conversation with my mom yesterday about eating and self control. I can't tell you how many times I have racked my brain for motivation and simple logic on how to better control myself around food. I feel like if you have self control you don't have to be on a diet all you need to do is eat what you want just don't eat so much of it and you've got the whole being healthy thing figured out. Of course it wouldn't hurt to add some good in, that has to be said. BUT I can't seem to figure out how to control my eating when it comes to sitting down and eating supper, I overeat every sinlge time. I have two kids so sitting down to eat isn't as interesting as it used to be. When I would cook meals before I would typically slave for about an hour and by the time I sat down I would eat a small amount then be too tired to eat anymore. Weird I know. Funny thing is when you spend the time cooking a meal eating it is not as interesting as eating something...

The thing that's impacted my sanity the most since having little ones is the fact that i don't make time to workout anymore. For me it all goes down hill from there. When I don't work out a lot of other things start to happen, for instance; my Pepsi habit. I can get so addicted to something, especially if it has addicting qualities in it like Caffeine, or Chocolate. I've also started eating ramen noodles again. I mean really thats the worst for me, bottom of the bottle so they say. I don't know this body i have right now. It jiggles and gets tired easy, and most of all it's slow. That's not me. Since I have this new body I feel like i've lost myself. When you don't feel good about yourself your whole attitude and demeanor change, you feel gross. I don't want to lose myself, I like myself, I want it back. In reality I don't think it will be too hard, especially since i'm starting my workout classes soon, in 2 days actually. I feel grossly...

I was told once that balancing your diet is like balancing your checkbook. When you look at how much money you have and how much you are spending it all has to balance out so you don't go in the negative. You can use the same principles to balance out your diet. For example if I eat a healthy breakfast and lunch I can afford a bit of a heavier dinner, just like if you save for a few weeks you can afford the big item you have been saving for. So that's what I do, I try to stay on track with my breakfast and my lunch because I typically eat a bigger dinner, and I always always have dessert. Lately I've been pretty bad at this. It used to be easy, I didn't have to think about it, I made it a habit and I liked healthy food. Today my life is much more complicated and in fast forward so I don't even know what all I'm eating through out the day, I snack a lot and I eat way too many sweets. I'm not drinking enough water either. So lets take it back to the bas...

Have I talked about sleep on here before? I can't seem to remember. Sleep used to be a subject I didn't care much about. Pre-kids I didn't care much, I knew I needed a certain amount of sleep to function but otherwise I was always the type to pop out of bed in the morning and didn't waste anytime laying around in it. Oh how life changes when you have kids. My second born is a great sleeper. In fact he is asleep right now, my oldest on the other hand is wide awake and happy about it. He has never been a good sleeper, it has been a struggle his entire existence. Sleep is now ALWAYS on my mind and I am always trying to find a way to make my toddler sleep better. Put him on a schedule, give him a bath before bed, make sure all the lights are out, don't dress him in heavy pajamas, keep the room cool, make sure there is background noise, and most of all make sure we have one or two pacifiers handy. It consumes my mind. I don't think he will ever be a good sleepe...

There's a lot of pressure to start traditions and to have your home decorated in Christmas décor and to be excited about Christmas. Here I am 5 days away and I'm that person that just really isn't into the hype. I'm not a super materialistic person, nor do I buy into getting your children everything they ever dreamed of. My kids are small so maybe I will be more into Christmas when they're old enough but right now I feel like a scrooge. I didn't have Christmas traditions growing up and I remember waking up early to open gifts from "santa" and it was fun but Christmas time was not a great memorable time for me. I want it to be a great time for my boys and something to look forward to but I'm debating even telling my kids about Santa Clause. All I can think is they will know I lied to them when they find out there isn't a Santa clause. I can't remember when I found out there wasn't a santa, I had older cousins who must have broke it to...

Let's get serious, I'm starting right now. I know everyone gets on the nutrition exercise bandwagon come January, but I am starting right now. It is time to get serious. For too long my toddler has been fed junk just to get through the day. He has been given whatever food he wants, even candy and sugary drinks. For a long time I have given myself permission to eat whatever I wanted because I was pregnant or a tired mom. Those are not excuses. I am young, I have the knowledge and I want to live the best life I can live and have no limitations. My hobby is exercise and nutrition, I used to push myself whenever I could, experiment on what made me more fit and what made me more healthy and feel better. I have some tricks up my sleeve, I know my body and I know what works for me. So why don't I do it? I have been very very LAZY. To me, that is exactly what eating unhealthy is, laziness or lack of knowledge (or lack of motivation to get the knowledge) to eat healthy and live ...

I live in a small town. I live in a very small town. Finding things to entertain you without driving an hour can be challenging. I also have 2 kids under 2 and the winter is approaching. That means we will most likely be stuck in the house for days at a time. I now stay at home with my kids 4 days a week and work 3. What is a person to do with 2 kids under 2 all winter in a tiny house? That is what I'm creatively trying to answer right now. My 18 month old and 5 month old don't quite entertain one another yet so that is up to me. (Oh I look forward to the day they play together) My 18 month old is getting dangerously close to being a "Video" addict. I want to avoid this at all costs. He will walk up to me and say "video" and that lets me know he's ready to watch a movie on the tv or something on his ipad. This I never wanted when I thought about having kids but I've also learned since having kids, you do what you can to survive, so there's no j...

When I was pregnant with Tucker I wanted to experience everything naturally. I wanted a natural birth, no medication and I wanted to breastfeed because it is natural. If you know me I would stick to 100% natural and be a hippie if I had that kind of will power. Being a hippie is hard work, so I digress. Anyhow I had a wonderful pregnancy, had eaten healthy and STILL got gestational diabetes (I know now it was out of my control, I tried so hard to keep my glucose levels in check so I wouldn't have to put unnatural medication in my body, afraid it would effect the baby, because you just don't know. (how I felt before mind you) So I bopped around all glowy and pregnant telling everyone I was going to do it the natural way. I got a lot of comments that were unwelcome, I mean A LOT of comments saying I would feel differently when I went into labor. I think I let those comments get into my head, because what did I do when I got to the hospital? I immediately requested an epidural....

Lately the husband and I have been talking about moving away, whether it be a few towns over that would be closer to his future job or it be a bigger town states away. It's this huge life changing decision that I don't like to make. Our little ones are so close to their grandparents and cousins, and we would absolutely hate to take them away but at the same time we both have this gut feeling of wanting more and wanting to experience more. Its almost like I'm torn between what's an easy decision and what is hard but could be the best thing for us. I'm not saying where we live now doesn't off "enough" it's just that we want more. It would be easy to take a piece of land given to us and build a house and live in the comfort of seeing our family almost everyday. It would be hard to choose exactly where to live and it would be hard to start over in a new place, living like we've never lived before. How do you decide. Obviously we would need to...

I have been seeing the positive lately in just about everything. This time of life with two littles under 2 can be both exhausting and the most enriching. I love to watch my two boys learn and grow, I think this time around with my 3 month old I am hyper aware of how fast he is growing and learning. I didn't have much to compare with my oldest and now that I do it's absolutely incredible how my little Grant is growing by leaps and bounds. He is already rolling on his side! Tucker is developing a stronger personality everyday! He is a full blow toddler with his own attitude and flair. He can repeat almost anything, and he definitely chooses his words wisely, he only repeats what he wants and ignores everything else. He is strong willed and knows exactly what he wants. That is refreshing yet challenging. Sometimes he will try to communicate what he wants and I don't quite understand which frustrates him, but I can see the comedy in it because one day he won't be dep...

Challenges make me stronger. I learn from what has challenged me. I think everyone does, whether they know it or not. That's the thing about having kids, almost everyday is a challenge when they're little, anything can happen. You can wake up thinking today will be a good day, both kids slept good or both kids are in a great mood, and in the blink of an eye things can get very challenging. You can drive 45 blissful minutes in a car where both kids have behaved great, and get to the pumpkin batch and it goes to poo. Both kids are crying, one because he only napped 15 minutes and the other has you so confused you're panicking a little. But because you drove 45 minutes to get there you keep going, keeping getting them bundled up (which they hate) and you continue to put your crying baby in his baby carrier because all of the other times he loved it and you continue to put a crabby toddler in the stroller who will not wear his hood in the freezing wind. Challenges will ...

I've heard a lot of people say lately that Fall is their favorite time of year. I am no different, I look forward to fall like I look forward to a long hot shower. The summer drains me, especially when pregnant and especially with a new baby. I like the cook crisp air of fall and I like the leaves when they crunch, I like all of the cliché things too such as boots, sweaters, and the good ol' pumpkin spice latte. (which I have recently tried to recreate at home and have failed miserably) Something I would like to start doing this fall on the blog is reviews. I am currently in the market for a nespresso and when I do get it I would like to review it here on the blog. I am a huge coffee/espresso lover and any time I find something that changes the game I'm going to share it. I would also like to do baby/toddler reviews, I just signed up to receive Highlights, the childrens magazine that I used to read when I was little. Well they have a new baby/toddler version where the pag...