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When life gets tough

Lately there has been things to happen to our family that can make life not so much difficult as uncomfortable. Since we've been married we have not had to worry about keeping a budget and sticking to it. We are truly blessed. But things have happened lately (one being having a baby) that have hit us hard financially. It has made things a bit uncomfortable. We are now trying to budget and get back on track but it's been difficult. We're working on it, it's a process. But obviously when there is a strain on your wallet there is a strain on your relationships and for myself a strain on my mood. Being pregnant can make your hormones go bonkers but add the stress of planning a 1st birthday party (which takes a lot of money), getting bill after bill in the mail and trying to adjust to a new lifestyle of budgeting and realizing your dream of building a house has been delayed AGAIN can make you even more hormonal. I have no been very pleasant to be around lately. I wouldn't hang out with myself unless I had to. My sister still loves me thank God, she came over last night and painted my toenails. I love her! But I wonder: How do you keep sane when life gets a bit tough? Truth be told I fight depression and I have always believed that I could beat it with knowledge and not have to take medication which has been going well but the moodiness is getting to me. I'm just plain mean. I should be glowing with happiness and joy, I have a wonderful husband and a smart, funny, health little boy who will be 1 tomorrow and I am pregnant with I'm sure another wonderful boy! Life is not bad by any means! Why do I let the little things get me down. Why do I have trouble seeing the big picture? I'm getting stressed over the most silly things. So my goal this week is to be grateful for my growing family and the wonderful people surrounding me. I want to smile more and LAUGH, I do not remember the last time I truly laughed. Seems like such a simple task to laugh but I want to truly laugh. I want to bring as much joy to my son and husband as they bring to me! Thank God for a patient, kind husband who looks over my moodiness and spastic crazy rollercoaster emotions! Maybe this is something I need to review each morning, review what a great life I have. I've heard the happiest people are the people that are satisfied with what they have and are grateful. I want to be that person. Maybe getting it all out of my head will help me sort through this, and the next time I'm in a rotten mood I can come here and look at this and remember the good things. :) until next time.
-B

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