New Mom Need Coffee

I have all these ideas that I want for Tucker, for instance I want him to really try in school and not just mess around and memorize everything like I did. I want for him to be happy but I have this crazy idea in my head of what makes someone happy, so I have this whole list of things I want for him, mostly a list of things if I could go back that I would basically want for myself. Isn't that what parents do anyways, they learn from what they've been through growing up and say "I never did such and such so I want my kid to do such and such"? That's what I think anyway so here it goes the list of what I want for Tucker: I want Tucker to be curious about the world I don't want him to watch those useless children's cartoons that teach him nothing I want him to explore and learn about the earth I want him to like something that is real, such as the planet, learn about animals, be interested in science, not silly cartoons I want him to read, I want him to...

I am only five weeks pregnant and doesn't it just seen like the minute you find out you're pregnant you FEEL pregnant. But I'm not sure if my tiredness is from being a new mom or from being pregnant. Yep I have a 5 month old and I'm pregnant again so let the exhaustion begin. As if I was exhausted enough now add pregnancy and hormones to the mix. It's great. lol I remember for my first trimester napping whenever I could because I was free and didn't have anything better to do. Now thank God for a great husband who lets me nap otherwise I'd be useless. So Five weeks and counting. I can not wait! I'm really excited to start telling everyone and just see the look on their faces lol I for one think it's a great idea to have 2 children close in age, it may be hard, very hard initially but I have high hopes, all of which you will hear as we go. -B

I want to write a lot but then there is this sound in my head "no one wants to hear your crazy thoughts" So finally when I push that aside and tell myself that I'm not writing for anyone but me I finally put words down and get started. Pretty much all the time these days my head if full of Tucker and my psychology school work, I don't do much tv watching and anytime anyone talks to me about anything I used to be interested in such as cooking, reading, or any kind of craft, I kind of shut down (do a little sad nod) and say I don't really have time for that. When all I really wish I could do is sit down and read a really good book, or find a recipe go to the store and cook the recipe start to finish without interruption. I want to go get a pedicure and not have my brain and motherly instincts rushing to get home to make sure all is okay with Tucker. I want to rewind back to when I was pregnant and get those baby books prepared because I had no idea how little time ...

Tucker still cries...a part of me hoped by the time he turned 5 months old he would have grown out of it, but I hope that every day, week, month. There are days that he goes without crying or resisting sleep, those days are few and far between but they happen, just often enough to keep my sanity. Tucker also does not sleep through the night. I understand that many many babies do not sleep through the night, and even a doctor (not a pediatrician, a fellow parent with a 6 month old) told me to not expect him to sleep longer than 4-5 hours at a time. But with babies around me that sleep through the night I can't help but compare. Tucker does not wake up to eat most often (he has a set alarm in his belly to wake approximately at 4:30am to eat most days), he just wakes up crying every 10-15 minutes after he's been put down. This is tough on an already exhausted parent who lays down in bed and just as you close your eyes to sleep hear your baby crying. Then once he's asleep ...